It makes me sick.
This bullshit. Don’t say something you don’t fucking mean. And don’t say you’ll do something that you know you’ll never end up doing. Don’t get someone’s hopes up because disappointment is one of the most painful feelings in the world. I don’t understand. I don’t understand. I don’t fucking understand all of this sadness. It’s becoming all that I am. It’s absorbing me. It’s drowning me. I can barely breathe anymore. I look into the mirror and all I see is pain filling my eyes. Every night I cry myself to sleep, and that sleep lasts about 3 hours. And when I wake up, I wish I hadn’t. I just want to be numb and emotionless. My heart is a huge part of who I am and I’m starting to feel as if that’s a bad thing. I can’t take the hurt. Or the letdowns. Everything I once knew is shattering around me and all I can do is sit here and watch helplessly. I wonder how much more I can take. My guess is not much longer.
